The main thing I have realised about my 30s is that I am going to wear more dresses.
I've always been a bit tomboyish in the way I dress (lots of jeans, shorts, and t-shirts) because even from a young age I noticed it seemed a bit unfair that the guys at uni could get away with minimal effort (roll out of bed and thrown on clothes that were clean-ish from their floor) while girls had a standard of always looking styled, pretty, fashionable and put together at all times. And I've always liked masculine clothes (vests/waistcoats for example, which my main two relationships [Kieran and R] were happy to indulge me in wearing to my party), and felt uncomfortable in girlier items as I sensed I was failing at being female.
But I've now realised that wearing dresses that I can throw over my head is actually an even lazier option - it means I only need to deal with one main item of clothing instead of searching for two pieces that match. And if I remove the tops/skirts from my wardrobe that I don't really wear and increase the numbers of dresses I might actually have more wardrobe space (consoldiating two items that need to find homes into just one). And a thank you to Mikhail for patiently putting up with me long enough for me to buy two new dresses.
I am pretty happy with my first few days of being 30. I started it off with a midnight conversation with my more-adult friend David from Melbourne about art (I have a safe long-distance crush on him [meaning there is no need for it to be requited, I don't have to do anything scary like actually act on it, and we can just enjoy our friendship like it is forever], even though normally I seem to only be interested in younger guys). I got taken out to dinner with R where we shared a bottle of wine and then to a movie I really wanted to see (that he enjoyed) and then further getting spoiled later on at his house. And prior to my party (because I was told to arrive an hour early but had no setting up to do other than a laptop), Kieran and I spent a peaceful hour sipping drinks and dancing to music in the beautiful Spring Hill rooftop room I'd hired admiring the views. Then I got to have a classy party with all my friends, a less-classy after party that ended at 4am, and then a platonic lying in his bed talking ourselves to sleep and breakfast milkshakes at Ric's in the valley with Robbie.
Note: If I use initials in my posts, please be careful to continue to respect that person's right to keep some things private as much as possible (even if you don't understand the reasons for it).
Anyway, onto the subheadings
My Party
I set the dress code as "colourful" (I think there are too many try-to-blend-in-not-stand-out clothing items in the world), so my best friend Alicia tried to organise a rainbow for me (find seven or so people to each wear a different colour) but she had trouble finding someone to wear yellow (for the photo, we ended up using Kieran's mum who was wearing gold).
The venue (despite me having only seen it in pictures) was great. The room downstairs has 360 degree views but you are stuck behind floor-to-ceiling glass windows, whereas this room (on the rooftop) had windows and a balcony that you lean out over and not be trapped inside.
The only thing I would change is including spirits on the bar tab (one of my friendship groups is the Pastafarians from QUT who can drink through a bar tab in 20 mins), so I was very worried about it not being enough and instead it turned out to be more than enough. The bar itself was great, because it was only stocked with the items that actually were on the bar tab (other than spirits) so there was no worry of someone running it up with expensive items. I was also worried about the room being over capacity, and instead quite a few people didn't show up meaning I think I could have squeezed in more of my work colleagues after all.
Also I think I impressed Kieran's parents with the qualilty of the room and the catering and hopefully the simple low-key but classy atmosphere of the event.
I had great conversations with my friend Audra who is still Christian, and she told me that because of a story I'd told her five years ago she spent 20 minutes driving around looking for places that sold yellow flowers because she felt that God told her that if she was going to give me flowers they should be yellow. I showed her the tattoo I got from back when I was Christian (a heart to represent God and a yellow flower to represent how God interacts with me) as she hadn't seen it before, and she was like "Oh, that's why!", and Alicia joined us and I explained to Audra that yellow had been the one colour that had been missing from Alicia's rainbow also.
Also Mike and Liz were willing to come up from Canberra to be at my birthday, even though they understood that I wasn't going to have much time to talk to them. Mike (besides being a semi-famous CSIRO science author/speaker) is someone that we have been talking about spending a proper amount of quality time with each other for over a year now.
The After-party
The end of the night Ages managed to convince everyone to go to DownUnder Bar (mainly because he can use his connections to get obscene amounts of alcohol for the table from them for only $12), which is not R's scene at all so I was very stressed about him secretly resenting me. I respect the fact that rather than having a dress-up code or trying to pretend to be classier than it is, the bar has embraced the fact that it is not at all classy and has just run with it, it asked the guys to remove their ties before coming in, and that they encourage you to drink out of jars, that you can stand on tables and climb on the furniture and carve your initials into it. For me, Dunder is not my scene either, but that novelty is why I enjoy it. And I found out that Ages counts me as amongst his top four people, so I'm going to have to see him more often. Despite my stress over R, I felt very cared about by Ages, Brayden & Robbie in particular.
Despite the fact that R was apparently okay with my stress about him at Dunder, I was so emotionally drained at that point that even though I needed comfort I didn't even have the spare resources to let it sink in (and spiraled for a while getting even more upset that I was still upset despite his attempts at comfort). He was more than willing to make time for me yesterday so that we could interact when I was well rested, recharged and not intoxicated (so that my most recent memory of us that I was left with didn't have to be me getting emotional outside Dunder), and reassured me again that he sees me as someone who can fit into his life romantically rather than just a friend who he thinks is hot. R and I have been acquaintances since a UN conference in high school (13 years ago! "two introverts managing to exchange email addresses" and then social networks taking over automatically adding each other), but despite knowing in theory we have important things in common only recently decided that we should probably put some effort into properly exploring that potential.
The main thing that is clear to me is that I am going to have to save up and go to Melbourne and Canberra sometime. Canberra probably in winter to see snow, since I've never seen any.
I've always been a bit tomboyish in the way I dress (lots of jeans, shorts, and t-shirts) because even from a young age I noticed it seemed a bit unfair that the guys at uni could get away with minimal effort (roll out of bed and thrown on clothes that were clean-ish from their floor) while girls had a standard of always looking styled, pretty, fashionable and put together at all times. And I've always liked masculine clothes (vests/waistcoats for example, which my main two relationships [Kieran and R] were happy to indulge me in wearing to my party), and felt uncomfortable in girlier items as I sensed I was failing at being female.
But I've now realised that wearing dresses that I can throw over my head is actually an even lazier option - it means I only need to deal with one main item of clothing instead of searching for two pieces that match. And if I remove the tops/skirts from my wardrobe that I don't really wear and increase the numbers of dresses I might actually have more wardrobe space (consoldiating two items that need to find homes into just one). And a thank you to Mikhail for patiently putting up with me long enough for me to buy two new dresses.
I am pretty happy with my first few days of being 30. I started it off with a midnight conversation with my more-adult friend David from Melbourne about art (I have a safe long-distance crush on him [meaning there is no need for it to be requited, I don't have to do anything scary like actually act on it, and we can just enjoy our friendship like it is forever], even though normally I seem to only be interested in younger guys). I got taken out to dinner with R where we shared a bottle of wine and then to a movie I really wanted to see (that he enjoyed) and then further getting spoiled later on at his house. And prior to my party (because I was told to arrive an hour early but had no setting up to do other than a laptop), Kieran and I spent a peaceful hour sipping drinks and dancing to music in the beautiful Spring Hill rooftop room I'd hired admiring the views. Then I got to have a classy party with all my friends, a less-classy after party that ended at 4am, and then a platonic lying in his bed talking ourselves to sleep and breakfast milkshakes at Ric's in the valley with Robbie.
Note: If I use initials in my posts, please be careful to continue to respect that person's right to keep some things private as much as possible (even if you don't understand the reasons for it).
Anyway, onto the subheadings
My Party
I set the dress code as "colourful" (I think there are too many try-to-blend-in-not-stand-out clothing items in the world), so my best friend Alicia tried to organise a rainbow for me (find seven or so people to each wear a different colour) but she had trouble finding someone to wear yellow (for the photo, we ended up using Kieran's mum who was wearing gold).
The venue (despite me having only seen it in pictures) was great. The room downstairs has 360 degree views but you are stuck behind floor-to-ceiling glass windows, whereas this room (on the rooftop) had windows and a balcony that you lean out over and not be trapped inside.
The only thing I would change is including spirits on the bar tab (one of my friendship groups is the Pastafarians from QUT who can drink through a bar tab in 20 mins), so I was very worried about it not being enough and instead it turned out to be more than enough. The bar itself was great, because it was only stocked with the items that actually were on the bar tab (other than spirits) so there was no worry of someone running it up with expensive items. I was also worried about the room being over capacity, and instead quite a few people didn't show up meaning I think I could have squeezed in more of my work colleagues after all.
Also I think I impressed Kieran's parents with the qualilty of the room and the catering and hopefully the simple low-key but classy atmosphere of the event.
I had great conversations with my friend Audra who is still Christian, and she told me that because of a story I'd told her five years ago she spent 20 minutes driving around looking for places that sold yellow flowers because she felt that God told her that if she was going to give me flowers they should be yellow. I showed her the tattoo I got from back when I was Christian (a heart to represent God and a yellow flower to represent how God interacts with me) as she hadn't seen it before, and she was like "Oh, that's why!", and Alicia joined us and I explained to Audra that yellow had been the one colour that had been missing from Alicia's rainbow also.
Also Mike and Liz were willing to come up from Canberra to be at my birthday, even though they understood that I wasn't going to have much time to talk to them. Mike (besides being a semi-famous CSIRO science author/speaker) is someone that we have been talking about spending a proper amount of quality time with each other for over a year now.
The After-party
The end of the night Ages managed to convince everyone to go to DownUnder Bar (mainly because he can use his connections to get obscene amounts of alcohol for the table from them for only $12), which is not R's scene at all so I was very stressed about him secretly resenting me. I respect the fact that rather than having a dress-up code or trying to pretend to be classier than it is, the bar has embraced the fact that it is not at all classy and has just run with it, it asked the guys to remove their ties before coming in, and that they encourage you to drink out of jars, that you can stand on tables and climb on the furniture and carve your initials into it. For me, Dunder is not my scene either, but that novelty is why I enjoy it. And I found out that Ages counts me as amongst his top four people, so I'm going to have to see him more often. Despite my stress over R, I felt very cared about by Ages, Brayden & Robbie in particular.
Despite the fact that R was apparently okay with my stress about him at Dunder, I was so emotionally drained at that point that even though I needed comfort I didn't even have the spare resources to let it sink in (and spiraled for a while getting even more upset that I was still upset despite his attempts at comfort). He was more than willing to make time for me yesterday so that we could interact when I was well rested, recharged and not intoxicated (so that my most recent memory of us that I was left with didn't have to be me getting emotional outside Dunder), and reassured me again that he sees me as someone who can fit into his life romantically rather than just a friend who he thinks is hot. R and I have been acquaintances since a UN conference in high school (13 years ago! "two introverts managing to exchange email addresses" and then social networks taking over automatically adding each other), but despite knowing in theory we have important things in common only recently decided that we should probably put some effort into properly exploring that potential.
The main thing that is clear to me is that I am going to have to save up and go to Melbourne and Canberra sometime. Canberra probably in winter to see snow, since I've never seen any.
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